Playkon - Play. Die. Respawn
Right, I mean that as in the next World of Warcraft expansion, after Cataclysm. And my suggestion for Blizzard is quite simple: if they're so bent on simplifying item stats, to hell with all of them, and add one single one instead. Let's call it "Multiplier" for now.

The way this "Multiplier" would work is that, by multiplying it with your character's current level, you would end up with a final value - let's call it "Wootness" - which directly translates into attack / spell power, health, mana, armor and pretty much everything else. Your class and talents would obviously factor in to scale said Wootness accordingly. So yeah, there would still be plenty of adjustments possible, but everything would be based around that sole "Multiplier" stat on items.

For example: a lv.90 character with a total of 1000 Multiplier from gear would have 90,000 points of Wootness - which could translate into 9000 spell power (10% of Wootness). Or 45,000 mana (50% of Wootness). So on, so forth.

So what if every cloth wearer would be rolling for the same item? How's that any different from Cataclysm?

Indeed mates, the news we've all been waiting for (like two years ago), World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King was announced! And that's according to the game's very own official European website, no less. Seriously, you can check... Do you see it? No? Oh, scroll down a bit... more... more... no dude, scroll the hell down, all the way to the bottom of the page. There you go!

So the next time someone points an angry finger at us, demanding updates, we'll have the perfect excuse: "Hey, if even Blizzard still has the WotLK announcement on their front page, why should we write any more often?".

Anyway, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm was "also" announced, as a new expansion pack that's coming out... whenever. But that's really old news by now. Well, old, but good enough to lure me back in the game, and put a dent in my EVE wallet.

Another totally journalistic report courtesy of the Weekly Maintenance TM
(or whatever the hell is giving me that error message when I try to login)
In what is obviously just a cheap attempt to steer your attention away from our epic lazyness, we point an infurated finger at Blizzard's European team, who totally screwed up the weekly maintenance notice tonight. Instead of piqueing our interest for today's not-so-dramatic-but-still-wtf'ish patch 3.0.8, those lazy bums copy-pasted an ancient maintenance notice dating back to the summer of 2008!

The best part comes at the end of said notice, where they urge us to have a cup of STFU and stop bugging them about the WotLK beta. Exactly, while that big bone dragon spews its icy flames all over the goddamn WotLK log-in screen. Hats off, Blizz, you messed it up real fine this time!

I can only hope they won't copy-paste some obsolete code from last year, as well, 'cause the AH spice must flow. Those 16k gold mammoth mounts don't buy themselves, you know.

Another totally journalistic report courtesy of the Weekly Maintenance TM
What a time I found for quitting WoW... again! Not only is the Lich King unleashing his Wrath in less than a month, but today the big-bad patch 3.0(.2) is being deployed, giving players a taste of things - and inevitable patch-fixing patches - to come.

As any WoW player and his lolpet knows by now, this latest major update is called "Echoes of Doom" and brings more changes and additions than you can read while downloading it; no matter how bad your connection, or how huge the patch. And it's HUGE. Well ok, maybe it's smaller than I for one expected (840'ish MB), but the patch notes are still longer than a Wednesday morning maintenance. And we've all had those... So you might want to start reading those official patch notes for v3.0.2 right away.

You won't be seeing this screen for much longer.

Below I'll only slap the "General" section of said patch notes - should be enough to get you through a pack of cigs. So enjoy the read, and I'll see you in-game. Oh... wait... wasn't I quitting WoW? Again? (...)

>  Continue reading 'World of Warcraft Patch 3.0 Deployed'...
Blizzards's Rob Pardo, Vice President of Game Design, had a recent chat with the very versatile Sticks of Joy, clarifying for them (and for us, and for the rest of the world, actually), how's it like to be producing a single game that will ship into three separate episodes. Yes, ladies and little sisters, we are, once more, talking about Starcraft 2. Or, maybe, Starcraft 2, 3 and 4.

Last week's news about the game being split in three, due to its "massive" and "epic" content was not a pleasant one, indeed. People would have expected a final product that they can devour in one setting, but hey, the strings are being pulled in different directions. Pardo insisted on the fact that the second and third campaigns are, unlike the "original" Terran Starcraft 2, NOT being considered as separate products by Blizzard. They are, let's say, the equivalent of expansion packs, so that's why the company does not think separate release dates will affect the game's overall quality. So the only thing we will miss, while waiting to play the Protoss and the Zerg, is the singleplayer component.

About timing, Pardo had no exact figures to set to the table, but being the speculative man he is, he heralded one year time between each part of Starcraft 2. Just like they are doing with World of Warcraft, where expansions are scheduled to be released in the same way. Long story short, we will buy the game in 2009, and we will get to fully enjoy it by the end on 2011.
Whenever you say Blizzard, you say Battle.net. Whenever you say Battle.net, you say free services and servers provided by Blizzard for their online community. This big badass company has been facilitating the virtual life of its fans for as long as I can remember, feeding them with decent and stable servers for their non-MMOish titles, such as the Warcraft and Diablo franchises. Fun times, indeed.

... Up until now. According to Big Download, things are about to change very soon. While covering a Diablo III gameplay panel at this year's BlizzCon, game producer Jay Wilson said something in the lines of:
"We are looking to monetize Battle.Net so that we get to keep making these games and updating features. We kind of have to."

Obviously, this will piss off fans like never before. I mean, many of them already frowned when Blizzard started to stare more at their profits and less at their fan base, with World of Warcraft squeezing large amounts of money each day, and with Starcraft 2 being cleverly sold as three separate games. But now, this?

The "good" news is that we have no details about what this "monetizing" actually means, or if it is aimed at the gamers themselves, or at some random advertising companies. Will we be forced to pay a monthly fee? A one-time fee? Or will we be staring at Coca-Cola commercials on every fucking Battlecruiser, while wiping the floor with the Protoss forces? Time will tell.

By the way. I find it peculiar that all these "clever" marketing strategies, specially designed to bring more income at all costs, have started right AFTER Activision got their paws on Blizzard. Hmmm...
And since we're casually exchanging thoughts about World of Warcraft, let's stop for a bit and take a look at this here “casual” gamer. His Internets id seems to be Bradster and, unlike most multi-boxers out there, this guy boasts with rampaging Azeroth, Outland and (soon-to-be) Northrend with no less than 36 different accounts simultaneously. Yep, you've heard me right.

While he is a keen Horde player also interested in future solo raiding (I am expecting a “how to solo Sunwell when he dings 70 or 80”, his main reason for this is the PvP factor. Mostly, world PvP. Beause we all know Arena is the suxx0r and that resto druids and dpslolrogues are overpowered.

This guy spends around 5711 USD per year to feed his hungry subscriptions, and intends to throw another 1500 USD down the sink when Wrath of the Lich King comes out, spending this otherwise promising pile of cash on 36 copies of the expansion. His ultimate goal? Invading Stormwind, leaving Onyxia's human form pregnant (oh, wait, she's gone), and then invading Ironforge and leaving the Gnomes pregnant. With a fucking overdose of Osama Bin Laden-like nuking power, I hope.

He uses a total number of 11 computers to do this, and his crazy idea basically involves a group of drunken, berseker-mode level 80 Orc Shamans, which are currently somewhere in the 60-70 bracket.

Well, what can I say. I wish him luck and thank God he is not on my server, since I play Alliance. A ganking extravaganza at the hands of a freaking 36 angry Elemental Shaman crew is not something I would like to witness.Over the jump you can bask in awe, reading this guy's own statement regarding this. (...)

>  Continue reading 'How To Solo Sunwell With 36 WoW Accounts'...
Being a World of Warcraft player myself, every time I click on the Internets, following some random WoW news-related thing, I just hope it is not yet another “welfare” announcement. And, since this year's BlizzCon was overcrowded with more interesting news, mostly regarding Diablo III and Starcraft 2, World of Warcraft's presence was incredibly scarce.

Thank god for WorldofWar.net and the likes, dedicated sites and personnel who know what questions to ask (and, most importantly, WHEN to ask them. I remember a retarded Hungarian would-be editor who worked at a Romanian magazine, asking the Diablo III crew questions about WoW, at last year's GC).

One of the recent press conferences held at BlizzCon featured a question regarding paid in-game character customization, a feature that has long been promised. Sure, we have the barber shop and all, I can get rid of all my pub hair (and Dwarven chicks can actually shave those damned hairy breasts of theirs), but this was something different. Jay Allen cleverly avoided the question until the end, just like a drunk cat on a hot tin roof, but he had to give in after a while - Yes, folks, we WILL have this thing called paid character customization. While, just like it always happens when it comes to Blizzard, we have absolutely no details about this whatsoever, we can all try and... visualize. I think i'll be getting my hot Night Elven chick a penis, just for the lulz.
I don't really know if I should laugh or cry when I look at this - not to mention the fact that I am still not getting it. Blizzard is, was and will be one of the top notch game producers ever invented by loli Jesus, alongside BioWare, Black Isle, 3DO and Westwood, so I usually do not question their motives when they decide something in their marketing strategy. But their latest thing seems a little... curious.

BlizzCon, the almighty place where all geeks meet either to jerk on some naked Blood Elven chick, either to discuss Blizz's future products, was the place where they announced that Starcraft 2 will actually be a trilogy, singleplayer-wise. As in, three different games. As in, no, you will not get them all-in-one. As in, HUH?

Because of the fact that its storyline is supposed to be “of epic proportions”, the game cannot be shipped just in a mere ONE bundle, so we will get a standalone campaign for each and every race. Terran: Wings of Liberty, where our old pal Jimmy Raynor does his usual “I have no place in this freaking universe” thing, Zerg: Heart of the Swarm, where Kerrigan might actually leak those naked pictures of her when she was young, and Protoss: Legacy of the Void, where the Protoss will probably be as gay and retarded as ever. With a new Matriarch. Each campaign will feature up to 30 missions, all, of course, fully enjoyable.
If you are still shivering in pain and agony, wondering if your soon-to-be number one reason for computer addiction will work on your computer, fear not, because almighty Blizzard, in their infinite and candid lust to satisfy their customers, have revealed the system requirements for the upcoming World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. Here we have it:
Minimum: Intel Pentium 4 1.3 GHz or AMD Athlon XP 1500+
Recommended: Dual-core processor, such as the Intel Pentium D or AMD Athlon 64 X2

Minimum: 512 MB RAM (1GB for Vista users)
Recommended: 1 GB RAM (2 GB for Vista users)

Minimum: 3D graphics processor with Hardware Transform and Lighting with 32 MB VRAM Such as an ATI Radeon 7200 or NVIDIA GeForce 2 class card or better
Recommended: 3D graphics processor with Vertex and Pixel Shader capability with 128 MB VRAM Such as an ATI Radeon X1600 or NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GT class card or better

For the Mac specs, check the official post here.

Speaking of satisfied customers, I would just like to thank Blizzard for the incredible amount of fun it gave me in the English Beta. It was so awesome, testing that log-in screen for 90% of my time... I guess I actually had sex with that damn dragon by now.

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